Just over a year ago, Randa found the perfect porch light for the front of the house, on sale at a considerably reduced price at Lowes. Knowing that eventually I would find the perfect time for installing the light, I left it sitting on top of the refrigerator in the basement. Saturday afternoon, I found that perfect time.

Step Number One: Remove the old light.

I began this project using the four-foot stepladder. By leaning it against the wall and clutching the edge of a border stone tightly, I could barely reach the release caps for the outer cover. Knowing that eventually gravity always wins in these almost safe situations, I swapped the step ladder for the small extension ladder. After a few up and down trips to get the other tool I suddenly needed, I managed to remove the old light.

Step Number Two: Install new light.

This ran into challenges right away. The wall base for the new light was about three times the size of the old one and too large to fit onto the old mount. A hammer drill accelerated the process of accommodation. With anchors installed, I soon found that the screws I had were too short. I made this discovery about six rungs up the ladder while trying to hold the fixture cradled with one arm and wedged against the top of the arch over the door and while trying to fasten the screws with one hand. Eventually, though, after a few more up and down trips, the light was installed.

Step Number Three: Turn light on and celebrate.

As it turned out, the first part of the step went much more quickly than the second part. Let’s see, first of all was the little shower of sparks generated while using a jump link to test the old switch. Then, there was replacing the switch. Then, there was the discovery that the earlier activity tripped the circuit breaker. Resetting the breaker showed no direct benefit; the light still would not work. In fact, the inside entry light that previously worked was not working now!

Eventually, after extensive diagnostic testing and replacing another switch, replacing a short section of wire and reconnecting four wires in the junction box, disconnecting and reconnecting the new light fixture four times, I would find that there was a second tripped breaker in the main panel. Resetting that restored functionality to the inside light but the new one still didn’t work.

Finally, I removed it for the fourth or fifth time and checked for continuity. Two of the three small bulb bases tested OK for the neutral circuit. None of them tested OK for the hot circuit. Removing the cover plate quickly explained that mystery; one of the white wires was loose and the black wire wasn’t connected to any of the bulb base leads!

The new light fixture was re-installed for perhaps the last time and all three of the little lights do work now. Yee-hah!! Along with the celebration, I was reminded that until you focus on the actual problem, it doesn’t matter how much effort goes into counseling, therapy, institutional initiatives or altar calls.

H. Arnett
11/9/09