So, Ole Herod, being the big ole meany that he was, seeing that persecuting this new-fangled religion is kind of catching on in Jerusalem, decides he’ll have James put to death. That’s one of the cool things about being king, you can do stuff like that. Since James was the brother of Jesus’s closest friend John, that made a bunch of the rich and powerful Jews really happy.

So, when Hateful Herod sees how much they liked that, he decides rowdy ole Pete is going to be next. He has him thrown into prison figuring that will really bring his poll numbers up among the Hebrews. “Just wait till we fillet that feisty fisherman!” he giggles.

So… it’s the night before he’s planning to put Peter on trial with everyone knowing it’ll have a death sentence outcome. All of the folks that really cared wuz praying their eyes out. Meanwhile, Pete’s fastened up, chained in between two guards, and locked up tighter than a tick on a dog’s ear with sets of sentries standing at the prison doors. Ain’t no way Peter’s escaping that!

Thing is, though, that arrogant rascal Herod don’t really understand the Lord’s math. Two guards, two chains, and two sets of sentries ain’t no match for one angel! Middle of the night, that angel smacks Peter right over his ribs and tells him to get hisself up and get dressed. Pronto! And grab your poncho, too! And, fer cryin’ out loud, git some shoes on, will ya!!

Chains fall off, soldiers stay asleep, and Pete and the angel walks right by the first sentries and the second sentries. Then, that big ole iron prison gate opens itself up for ‘em and they walk right on out into the city. Pete, being the grounded ole gnarly fisherman dude that he is, knows this is all just a dream and so he’s just sauntering along acting like it ain’t no big deal. Until they walked a block or two and the angel disappears and then he knew, “Holy fish scales! This ain’t no dream! I done walked right out of Herod’s prison smack dab into Jerusalem!”

So, then, he hightails it over to John Mark’s Mom’s place, where they wuz all a’prayin’.

He knocks on the door and Rhoda’s so tickled to hear Pete’s voice, she runs back to tell everyone he’s there and don’t even open the door for ‘im! Being the sane and sober good Christian folk that they are, they tell Rhoda she’s a nutcake and there ain’t no way the guy they’re praying for got out of prison.

They finally go with her just to prove that she’s as looney as Lucien’s squirrely uncle. Lo and behold, she ain’t looney at all; it is Pete!!!! He tells them to hush, gives them the short version and then he skedaddles. There they wuz, all a’prayin’ their hearts out and then didn’t even believe it when the Lord answered their prayer and whisked their boy out of prison. Ain’t that just how it goes sometimes?

It was all just real fine and everybody was so happy you’d have thought resurrection done showed up in Jerusalem. Well, that particular group was all happy…

But there was no joy in Mudville once Herod called the hangman and they couldn’t find Peter… Herod got his killing done but it wasn’t the one that he expected. It was the ones who’d “let Peter escape.” Hard to imagine anything worse than having no idea or explanation how the guy that was chained to you could just up and disappear and you not know nothing about it!

Once a king gets his heart set on a killing, ain’t nothing else gonna make him happy. And if you’re gonna go around upsetting Herod, you better be sure the Lord is on your side.

As for Herod, well, the good Lord took care of him just a few days later.

Worms, eh?! Who’d’ve thunk it?!! Getting’ on the wrong side of the Lord’s justice ain’t never worked out too well, has it? Even if you is a king.