Eccl 7:5 “It is better to heed the rebuke of a wise person than to listen to the song of fools.”

The one professor I had during my grad study days at Ohio State who most consistently frustrated me was Donald Cruikshank. More than any other teacher I had. Maybe more than all of the rest of them put together. Emotionally, that dude could drive me straight up a wall quicker than a cricket can jump out from underneath a piece of overturned firewood.

One of the several classes I took with him required us to develop an instructional video. The whole group of us took the project seriously and devoted many hours to the development of our final presentations. This was not a class of google-eyed undergrads; we were seasoned professionals who’d interrupted our careers in order to earn doctoral degrees in teacher education. Nonetheless, on Demonstration Day, there was more than a hint of nervousness in the room.

After the first presentation, we began sharing positive feedback with the initial team. “No, no, no,” interrupted Dr. Cruikshank, “You need to be telling them ways they can improve their product. They don’t need to hear what you liked; they need to know what needs fixing or how they can make it better.”

I don’t recall that any of us responded to that with smiling nods and quiet whispers of “Oh, yeah, that’s what we really need to hear.” In fact, our initial response was mostly puzzled looks and hushed expressions like, “Is this guy for real? We aren’t allowed to say anything positive?” Even if we were born long before the “Everybody gets a trophy” days, we were still not at all comfortable with this unexpected stipulation. But we’d learned a few quarters earlier that you didn’t ignore admonitions from Professor Cruikshank.

So, as diplomatically as we could, we shared our “negative feedback.” Frankly, in one or two cases, it wasn’t that hard. Those projects had some obvious opportunities for improvement. But on one or two, it wasn’t that easy. It was hard to spot anything that needed to be changed. “No,” Dr. Cruikshank challenged, “There’s always something that can be better.” And so, we thought harder, raised our standards, and found something.

It was an intriguing experience, certainly made a point. And not a one of us was comfortable with it.

I suppose that you could argue that we were too used to putting feelings above professional standards. We were too easy on each other. We were too worried about offending someone else. Maybe we were all so easily offended ourselves by any criticism or anything less than effusive praise that we were wary of suggesting that something could be better.

Even to this day, I have conflicting feelings about the experience. I have to admit that I have been way too sensitive to criticism myself, often interpreting it as rejection of some fashion or another. I also acknowledge there have been numerous times when a project or idea of mine has been made much better due to insightful and objective review of someone else.

We don’t have to like someone to be able to benefit from their honest feedback. Whether they’re reviewing our latest project or our deepest personality traits. But for me, I find responding positively comes a lot easier when said feedback comes from someone who has proven their love and loyalty to me. Which might explain why we should be eager to submit to the convicting work of the Holy Spirit in regard to our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.