A heavy sky hung like the dome of a bell, cold and gray at the narrow part of the day. Only a thin edge of light lay along the southern circle of the sky, just between earth and darkness. As we rode on toward supper and Saint Joe, the banter lagged, lacking its usual punctuations of hearty laughs and gasps for air. It wasn’t somber but a hint of sadness tugged at the edges of the conversation.

Here at this delightful restaurant, this Brazilian grill with its amazing variety and endless supply of grilled pork, chicken and beef, we are saying goodbye to Pete. He has taken advantage of the opportunity to go to work for another old friend at another institution.

He has been a friend ever since I began working at Highland and my boss for the first four-and-a-half years. He is witty, ebullient, passionate. And loud. He is rarely lost in a crowd, delighting friends and peers with stories. Stories that mostly highlight his own misfortunes, false steps and pratfalls. Volume and enthusiasm both increase to the crescendo of one story and drop only slightly for the beginning of the next. By the end of a good round, no one in the area is unaware of his presence. To those of us who love him, we cannot but laugh to the point of tears, both for the story and the teller. For others who prefer quiet, it may only be annoying.

But with Pete, as with all of us, you get the package.

I guess sometimes people would like to just pick and choose from among the attributes of their colleagues, friends and family. Cherishing one thing, despising another, and wishing we only had our druthers about the whole deal. You know, "I’d like a friend to go, please: lots of humor and warmth, easy on the temper and hold the confrontation, please. Oh, and could you add some generosity, too. That’d be just great."

Of course, it doesn’t work that way and so we often simply reject anyone who has anything about them that could be annoying or embarrassing. Or we avoid them when we’re with certain others that we suspect would not like that person. I’m sure there are folks that don’t like Pete for one reason or another. I guess if we’d look fairly close at anyone, it wouldn’t be too hard to find something that doesn’t measure up, doesn’t quite make the cut, something that we’d just as soon not be around.

Well, I’ll take the whole Pete package. I’ll tolerate the Greek boisterousness, the family-engendered loudness, the whatever. For one thing, he’s fun to be around. For others, he’s perceptive, practical, and full of zest. He’s one of the most ethical people I’ve ever known and a hard worker. In nearly seven years, he has never failed to beat a deadline, never failed to carry out a responsibility. And, of course, beyond all that, he puts up with me.

In the end, on the bottom line, when it’s all said and done, that is my ultimate test when it comes to choosing friends. And Saviors.

H. Arnett

12/14/10