As the story goes, a student came to Socrates one day to ask his advice about marriage. The old man dodged and demurred but the young man was persistent. “Please, master, I must know, should I marry or not?” Again, the philosopher declined to answer directly, saying something about it being a matter one man could not resolve for another. But his disciple continued to plead.

Finally the venerated teacher blurted out, “It doesn’t matter!”

The young man was stunned. “But of course it matters, Teacher! It is of utmost importance. How can you possibly say ‘It doesn’t matter?'”

The old man smiled wryly and responded, “Because no matter whether you choose to marry or not marry, you will wish you had chosen the other.”

Now, I don’t know whether that little anecdote makes you smile, wince or burst into tears but I do imagine that you can see some smattering of truth in it. It’s a rare relationship of any length at all that hasn’t at some point questioned the wisdom of its own existence. Even the best of them have tripped across one or two rough rocks during the trek along life’s road.

We can survive the occasional stone and stumble, even thrive in spite of the mishaps and false steps. Join hands, kiss the hurts, help each other mend and move on. Stay on the course but take time to enjoy the view from time to time. Keep focused on the destination but every now and then take a look back to remind ourselves of how far we’ve come. Celebrate our love, be together in ways that matter, forgive as frequently as needed and more frequently than asked. Live below our means so we can give more than is expected. Be genuinely grateful and show sincere appreciation. Honor one another.

Pretty much it comes down to treating one another the way we desire to be treated. Funny how often that works, isn’t it?

H. Arnett
2/14/17