A Delicate Balance

Sometimes the morning comes a bit too bright; the light feels harsh against eyes not yet ready for the seeing of another day. Mostly, I like the sun and the sight of a cloudless dawning, a brightening red forming the beginning. Sometimes, though, especially when sleep has come slow and restless, the night measured too closely, I prefer to wake to a gray day.

It seems that the expectations are a bit lower, not so much demanded of a day that has its beginning in a cloud-shrouded dawning. The light eases in bit-by-bit and it might be mid-morning or later before a glaring brightness finds its way around me. Sometimes, when the front is low and long, I might make it through the whole day without a disturbing light to ache my eyes and remind me that this is the season of migraines and vertigo.

It is a selfish thing, I know, to want the rest of the world to walk in sorrow and grayness just because of my private pains. Even more selfish once I admit that the headaches aren’t really all that bad; it’s just that they’ve become an almost daily thing over the last six weeks or so. It doesn’t take much reflection, though, to remember others I know who are dealing with cancer and loss, surgeries and darker fears, the nearness of death’s coming or passing. And if the storehouse of sympathy be a bit limited, it is better shared with them than me.

I can take my waking slow and my bending and raising even slower and make it through this day just fine. I will find good in this day and share its unfolding in good appreciation. I will pray for those in greater pain and deeper concern. I will remember the good my Lord has given me and draw upon his grace to face whatever petty trials might come my way.

But I think I might also finally schedule a call to the doctor. Sometimes we waste ourselves in struggles others can help bear. Even a virtue as fine and precious as determination is best tempered by wisdom and humility. Otherwise it passes into sheer stubbornness.

H. Arnett

About Doc Arnett

Native of southwestern Kentucky currently living in Ark City, Kansas, with my wife of twenty-nine years, Randa. We have, between us, eight children and twenty-eight grandkids. We enjoy singing, worship, remodeling and travel.
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