Faux Painting

Somewhere between wallpaper and the Ralph Lauren faux paint center at Home Depot, Randa and I decided to have a go at some non-traditional painting techniques and figured that our small bathroom would be just the place to practice. You know, treat the walls as our canvas. Inadvertently, the floor sort of became the easel, but, hey, you can’t make a pillow without ruffling a few feathers.

Test Plot One: start with several heavy dabs of three colors of paint, applied with sponge. If this looks too much like several dabs of paint, try smearing them around with a ten-inch drywall knife. Conclusion: try Test Plot Two.

Test Plot Two: apply different colors of paint directly to flat trowel and apply to wall, floor, exposed plumbing, old clothing, etc. Please be aware that the old clothing is being worn by a significant other, who may not have been aware that she was wearing old clothing until you pointed it out, after application. Conclusion: too much paint on floor. Note to Self: good to do this little experiment before putting down floor tile.

Test Plot Three: apply different colors of paint to wall with heavy brush streaks, then smear immediately until all of wall section is covered with the desired amounts of paint and desired effect is obtained. Apply very limited amounts of red with a small brush. Then, while significant other is trying to decide whether to change clothes or change addresses, add a few more finishing touches with the trowel. Result: too much light color and hey, enough with the trowel already.

Test Plot Four: apply dark and light colors in a four or five to one ratio with heavy brush streaks, blend immediately but on a limited basis with flat trowel. Use very, very limited amounts of red. Solicit close and constant supervision. Result: OK, I think you’ve got it! Now, let’s repaint all those test sections and then, paint the bathroom.

Conclusion: much of what we do in life, we do with the best intentions and with the least bit of expertise. Watch yourself and your actions closely and remember what worked and what didn’t. Swallow your pride, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and let things get a bit messy. On the other hand, admit that those mistakes and messes just might, possibly, to some limited degree, be your fault. And, by the way, sometimes it’s good to wear old clothes.

H. Arnett

About Doc Arnett

Native of southwestern Kentucky currently living in Ark City, Kansas, with my wife of twenty-nine years, Randa. We have, between us, eight children and twenty-eight grandkids. We enjoy singing, worship, remodeling and travel.
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